Fear the New Dreaded Disease
Greetings, fearful hypochondriacs! We at the Ministry of Truthiness are about to unleash a new fear campaign about a disease that’s been around for a while without scaring you. We learned from the last two years that we can get you do anything we want by using non-stop lies and fear porn. So here’s what you can expect in the near future about this new Scary Thing.
Yes, we know we got you all excited about a country that you couldn’t even find on a map until last month. But it appears your interest in that country is waning, so pay attention to the latest thing – monkeypox!
We’ll be sure to get the mainstream media to scare you with all sort of stories about how cases are doubling every week and there’s no stopping it now!
What we like about this new plague is that we can inundate you with scary images of what it can do to you, even though some of those images are stock photos of shingles. (Fun fact: shingles are one of the adverse events from the experimental gene therapy jabs you got last year for the Worst Disease Ever.)
You can be sure that we’ll trot out the usual “experts” to make this seem just as bad as – or even worse than! – the Worst Disease Ever from the last two years. As before, these experts will tell you that they have a plan for keeping you safe, which will require your total obedience to every nonsensical “rule” they make up or every experimental injection they say you need.
We’re also going to make you do lots and lots of testing, like we did with the Worst Disease Ever, because you can’t tell if you’re sick by feeling sick. You might be sick without even knowing it!
Experts like Bill Gates (a college dropout with no medical experience) and Dr. Fauci (who has never treated a patient) will start feeding you lies about the origin of this scary thing so that you won’t notice they’ve been planning the fear campaign for years.
We’ll pretend that this scary thing is unstoppable unless you take a new experimental Glorious Goo, and we’ll make you feel virtuous for being an unpaid experimental subject.
So sit back, watch the TV, get more and more afraid, and be comforted by the fact that we’ll handle this made-up crisis in the same incompetent, criminally harmful, and rights-destroying way we did with the Worse Disease Ever.
