Mission Accomplished

Greetings, propaganda believers! We, the truthy truth-tellers at the Ministry of Truth, want you proles to know that we’ve declared victory in the ongoing war against the Worst Disease Ever. Mission accomplished and a heckuva job, yay us! But now is not the time for complacency. Keep being afraid! Here’s why:

As you may have noticed, none of the things we tried to do to eradicate the Worst Disease Ever actually worked, because you can’t eradicate a respiratory virus that spreads and mutates rapidly. That’s right – lockdowns, anti-social distancing, masks, untested experimental injections – none of it worked. But we couldn’t just sit on our hands and do nothing. That would be terrible for our image at the next election cycle, where we pretend that you have a choice of dictators. On the contrary! In response to the world-wide panic and hysteria, we had to be seen as doing something, even if that something had no effect other than to eliminate your inalienable rights.

But we made it look like our useless efforts did something through a clever trick. Viral epidemics always follow a natural curve of ups and downs. So we pretended that any restrictions we instituted caused the downs (or that any lack of restrictions caused the ups), and fortunately, you all believed this bullshit. Victory for us!

So obviously, the real reason for all of these useless restrictions and mandates was not to stop the virus, but to get you proles used to the idea of being fearful and compliant. This will come in super-handy in the years to come. All we have to do to institute ever more surveillance, restrictions, and control is to invent some new Scary Thing to scare you with, and you’ll roll over and even demand more restrictions to keep you safe. It’s a two-fer: you get to pretend to be safe, and we get to pretend that we’re keeping you safe.

So don’t forget to be afraid. We’ve declared victory, but this isn’t over yet. Stay tuned to the Ministry of Truth for further details.