Mask Up, Fools

Greetings, obedient serfs! We super-sciency scientific scientists at your local Public Health Department want to make sure you’re still showing your compliance with our nonsensical rules by continuing to wear your snot-rag.

Now, you may have noticed that we recently relaxed our mandates about these worthless snot-rags, to fool you into thinking we won’t torture you again. But don’t worry! At the least sign of some future Terrible Crisis, like a new virus scariant, or rising “cases” from false positives on high-Ct PCR tests, or a fuel shortage, or bad weather, or smog, or wildfires in California, or something, we’ll tell you to wear a snot-rag again. So keep wearing one now and you won’t have to be surprised again.

Besides, wearing a snot-rag shows you care. OK, sure, the damn things don’t work, and even Dr. Fauci admitted as such before he started lying on a daily basis. And yes, it doesn’t make sense that you have to wear a snot-rag for thirty seconds while you’re entering a restaurant, but not for the subsequent sixty minutes while you’re seated. But logic and common sense don’t matter. What’s important is that you want others to know that you are a virtuous person, and not a granny-killing psychopath.

So mask up and be proud that you are a submissive, fearful, compliant, right-thinking serf!