My First Attempt to Leave

It’s been just over two years since I wrote the last post here. I noticed that in my post about visitors, I promised to write about how I tried and failed to leave the marriage for a 30-day separation. Here is what happened then:

By the middle of December, 2016, my wife had spent several months being annoyed and angry with me, in what I had come to call her “hyper-critical mode”. In desperation, I decided that I needed to leave home and stay away for 30 days, to give me the time and space to decide what to do for the long term. But I didn’t plan my escape very well.

One evening, when I was working late at the library where I volunteer, I called a nearby rooming house to verify that a room was available that night. Then I called my wife and told her I wasn’t coming home and that I needed a 30 day break. I had no extra clothes or other supplies with me, but I was desperately unhappy and hadn’t thought through my plans.

After a two-hour, emotionally stressful conversation with my wife, she threated to kill herself, so I went back home.

It took me another three years to finally get up the courage to leave again, which I managed to do on January 7, 2020. This time I planned things well in advance, and was able to escape with most of my belongings and without interference. I will write more about this great escape in another post.